A Parent, Not A Friend
David Berman • August 9, 2023
white half dome shape

A parent cannot be their child’s friend.


And in fact, should not try to be.


It is antithetical to the role a parent has to play in their child’s life.


Friendship is a bilateral relationship that involves two consenting parties. Friendship stops when one of the parties ceases to give their consent to the relationship.


A child does not possess the ability or maturity to give consent, or for that matter many other things as well – that is why they can’t vote or drive or buy alcohol, or own a gun or volunteer for the armed services.


Trying to win your child’s friendship at the expense of being their parent, their advisor, their educator, their protector, their confidant, their role model can be very expensive for both you and them.


I have found in my many decades of parenting my four grown children ages 29 to 40, that by being their parent first and foremost and always, has created the foundation we all share today as best of friends. They all know that as much as I cherish their friendship (and respect), I am and will always be first and foremost their father. This understanding has created an extraordinarily meaningful life for me – and a foundation upon which each day is a greater gift than the previous one.


Wishes that each of your days is greater than the previous one,



Hugs too,

David/



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